'American Idol' recap: Fire On the Bay

Wow. Last night, American Idol laid the sob stories on as thick as a Ukrainian accent on a pink-sweatsuited, surely battery-operated Mail-Order Bride Bratz Doll. (We were all thinking it!) From fire victims to an Adam Lambert impersonator with Tourette's, Asperger's, a dad who died of a drug overdose, and a baby who may or may not be wearing a diaper right now, the San Francisco auditions kept us on a pile of ashes and needles waiting for the next "most emotional moments of the season." You could almost envision Nigel Lythgoe licking his chapped lips with delight after a pre-commercial teaser announced, "My life...took a turn for the worse." PERFECT.

This was at least the second time Jennifer Lopez has cackled loudly upon exiting her stretch limo, by the way. Cacklin' J. Lo: the cereal with real diamonds! A free picture of a designer shoe in every box. Read More...



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