Tonight on The Bachelor: HOMETOWN DATES! And it's Presidents Day. Happy birthday, George Washington! Isn't this the America you dreamed of?
Last week the show aired on Valentine's Day, which was obviously bad enough for those of us unlucky enough to be sitting at home alone that night watching this cliche-ridden, antiquated courting ceremony. Watching The Bachelor on Presidents Day isn't quite as blatantly depressing, but it's still sad to think about what our nation's greatest leaders might say if they found out that this cheesy monstrosity of a TV show is how millions of us choose (thanks to our awesome FREEDOMS!) to spend our Monday nights: