'America's Next Top Model' recap: Bubble Bobble

"Welcome to Cycle 16." That is both the title of a dystopian science fiction short story I once wrote in high school (about a band of scarily lifelike androids who learn what it means to be human) and my words of greeting to you for this season of America's Next Top Model (about pretty much the same thing).  Since it is the 16th cycle, that of course means that the show's previous contestants now comprise the Top 15 spots on the official list of America's best and most famous models. Wait, that's not how it works? Ah, well.

There will be much screaming -- of the happy, sad, angry, hungry, confused, and arbitrary varieties -- as well as many cat-fights, catwalks, and, potentially, CAT scans, in episodes to come, but the season premiere is more about introducing us to the fourteen inhumanly lovely ladies who will compete for a $100,000 contract with CoverGirl, as well as a spread in Vogue Italia, which itself comes with the added bonus prize afforded all Vogue Italiamodels: One night of passionate Italian love-making and national policy debate with Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Read More...



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