'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Back to the Ballroom

Welcome back, DANCMSTRs, to a twelfth season of Planet Mirrorballus hysteria...and EW.com recaps! I like to call myself the Fringe Fairy, but in last night's season 12 premiere, Kirstie Alley has gone ahead and better encapsulated my entire existence. There's no need to beat around the bush anymore, especially now that Maks has been freshly waxed. I'll just say it. Much like "America's most outrageous actress," I, too, am a Dancing With the Stars ho.

Season 12! I think we were all a little worried about the possibly lackluster cast, but last night's premiere featured the same six crucial ingredients as any other season: sparkles, heels, flashy moves, disaster, Tom, boobs. We needn't have worried. One of the greatest things about Dancing With the Stars is that it never, ever changes. (Sure, Kym has bangs now, Lacey needs to take a long, hard look at the *root* of her issues, and Brooke thinks she's Lady Gaga, but these are minor tweaks.) They could put practically anyone on this show and we'd all tune in to see Our Pros do their little dances. Read More...



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