'Dancing With the Stars' recap: The Taming of the Shoe

Oh, DANCMSTRs! I want it to be Classical Night every week on Dancing With the Stars. Every week until that bizarre, glittery orb, Planet Mirrorballus, spontaneously combusts into millions of sparkly smithereens -- but for real this time, not just some fakeout explosion like we see all the time at the end of the opening credits. I'm talking full-blown outer space disaster. Yeah!

What the heck? Sorry to go there. I'm just so excited! The Harold Wheeler Band had transformed into a 46-piece orchestra, complete with Vagabond Messy-Bunned Violinist David Garrett and mezzo-soprano soloist Katherine Jenkins, and classy "HWB/DWTS" music stands. There were flaming torches behind Tom "Probst" Bergeron. Kirstie Alley lost her shoe! Len wore a tux! It was all so grand, my friends. If you looked up "DANCMSTRy" in the ballroom's dusty old dictionary, it'd have a picture of last night's show -- preferably the majestic overhead sweep of the orchestra featuring our krazy keyboardist and his many, many pianos. That guy's got quite a set! Read More...



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