Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Locked and Loaded

Just sit tight — we’ll get to Joe Giudice’s vibrating cock ring soon enough. First we have to watch as Teresa and Melissa go through another round of saline tit-for-tit at Jacqueline’s U.N. roundtable. It’s the same old war over who holds family dearer, and Melissa’s big punch is that Teresa acted like an asshole when Melissa used the same photographer for Antonia’s Christmas card photos that Teresa once used for Gia. Unfortunately, we don’t get to hear the debate over which baby looked sexier, because Teresa and Melissa decide to try to leave the past behind them. They hug, Teresa’s faux-motorcycle jacket crinkling against Melissa’s faux-fur shrug, but still, Melissa tells the camera in a confessional that a little voice inside her is saying not to trust Teresa. And hey, maybe that other voice is the one that knows the words to "Amazing Grace"? Teresa’s obviously been listening to a ton of Swedish pop chanteuse Robyn like everybody else on the planet, because she just keeps repeating the chorus to the hit "Show Me Love" until Jacqueline finally wanders in with cookies. Everything seems like it’s going to be okay, assuming you don’t factor in that all the isolated shit-talking to producers is going to air on television. Read More...


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