Recap: The first couple is put on the block on 'Big Brother'

Well, it was about time "Big Brother" threw a really good twist into the game that wasn’t squid-flavored slop, but I’m not sure I’m completely thrilled to have "BB" alumni returning to the house. Okay, correct that. I’m not sure about having Rachel return to the house. I admire my colleague Dan’s ability to illuminate her nails-on-a-chalkboard voice with uPpeR aND loWeR cAse, but I’m just too busy throwing my remote control at the television and covering my ears to follow suit. Needless to say, I could have lived happily without ever hearing that braying, crazy horse laugh again, and the claw marks from dragging my nails down my face every time she was on screen last year have almost healed. But it’s nice to see Jordan and Jeff back, I guess.

 Anyway, everyone is SO excited about the golden key! Or, at least the new hamsters are, because they’re all apparently a bunch of lily-livered floaters. They slid off the bananas in last week’s challenge like Vaseline on a warm eel, and I don’t sense a lot of really smart game play in action here. Evel Dick says he’s going to eat these newbies for lunch, and I don’t think he’s wrong.

 Porsche, who apparently thinks with her breast implants, tells Keith she wants to team up with the all-stars. Keith thinks she’s an idiot. Well, Keith, that’s what you get when you partner up with the girl in the house you’d most like to bang. She may be thinking with her implants, but what you’re thinking with isn’t too smart, either. Read More...


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