The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Christmas Grouse

You know all the times you were convinced your mom was the most embarrassing mom in the world? Those times she smoothed down your hair with her spit and pulled back your bangs to show the neighbors the extent of your forehead acne? Well, get on the phone after you’ve finished reading this recap and thank your mama for not being Kim G., because I’m guessing your best friend has never had to throw your mom out of a formal Christmas party for being a gigantic pain in the ass.

Joe tries to diffuse the tension at the party by motorboating one female guest on the dance floor while grinding against two others, but Kim G. is busy stirring up a pot of piping hot shit in the kitchen. She’s continuing to go on about how Teresa was the one who wronged Monica Chacon, pugilist-slash-attorney, and Kathy is hanging on every word, doing a terrible job of pretending not to love it. Meanwhile, Teresa’s just a granite island away, saying that Kim "looks like a fucking duck with those lips," which is less an insult than a lazy observation. Read More...


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