'Jersey Shore' season premiere recap: L'Avventura

Vinny has a beard. Snooki has a boyfriend. There are rumors that Sammi's breasts are bigger. J-Woww's breasts are not smaller, and she wants to be very clear about that. Ronnie has magically transformed from a depressive crying caterpillar-boy into a beautiful butterfly-man: Single Ronnie, reborn with a smile. Deena is still Deena, and the unabashed way that she continues to drop her three main catchphrases -- "blast in a glass," "do sex," and "Ya like da boobz? -- while doing her muppet booty dance makes her seem almost like an adorable remnant of an earlier pop culture era, a character who wouldn't have looked out of place on Laugh-In, or in a traveling vaudeville show. Pauly is still Pauly, mysterious, unknowable, with the perpetual grin of a man who seems to be listening to the director's commentary of his own life. And The Situation is the same, only different. He has a plan. The fourth season ofJersey Shore began with Mike blasting a warning out to the anxious fathers of Italy: "Lock up your daughters. Handcuff your wives." And hell followed with him. Read More...



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