Jersey Shore Recap: "We're Not in Jersey Anymore"

Buongiorno! The Jersey Shore paaarty's here!

We begin by revisiting the cast in their natural tri-state area habitats. And fret not, fist-pumpers, things haven't changed a bit. The guidos and guidettes are exactly the same (save for a few pounds lost) and are ready to take their homeland by storm! Here's where we stand in brief:

-- Snooki is trying to figure out the difference between a country, a city, and a continent.
-- Deena plans to bring a guy home, but "won't do sex." (She's going to figure them out first, then do sex later).
-- Pauly has a suitcase just for transporting international plugs for his blowdryers. He likens Italy to an "international panty raid."
-- Vinny is so "much more better looking," and hoping to find a nice, traditional Italian girl.
-- Situaton warns Italians to lock up their daughters and handcuff their wives.
-- JWoww: isn't worrying about cheating on Roger, because Italy doesn't make 6'4'' juiceheads with tattoos.
-- Ronnie is ready for a fresh start and is done with being a bitch.
-- Sammi knows how to say "I have cramps" in Italian.

And they're off! The boys arrive at the palace first, and from the marble-tiled floors to the porcelain bidet (that won't end well), it's a bit of a departure from the wooden dump in Seaside Heights where they used to reside. Room assignments are made: Vinny, Pauly, and Deena in one room; Ronnie (looking beefier than usual) and Situation in the second, and JWoww, Sammi, and Snook in the third.

The motley crew decides to go sightseeing. Requisite boozing ensues, and after beefy Ronnie breaks a table by sitting on it, they call it a night. Read More...


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