Who Should Be the Next 'Bachelor'? Pros and Cons of ABC's Top 3 Choices

To our continued disappointment, anxiety and horror, we don't yet know who will be the next Bachelor. And if you believe what the network's mouthpieces say, neither does ABC.

But we do know a couple things about the man who would be king of sex mountain based on historical trends and just plain common sense (both of which, funnily enough, one would need to ignore altogether in order to convince oneself that becoming the next Bachelor is a good idea):

- He will be a contestant from Ashley Hebert's season of The Bachelorette.
- He will have appeared in at least one of the final three episodes of that season.

- He will need to possess if not a majority, at least a fair sampling of the following traits: Handsomeness, business and/or financial success, positive attitude, charm, 6-pack abs, the ability to talk about his feelings ad nauseum and ad infinitum, photogenicity, and (this last one is not to be discounted or underestimated!) willingness. Willingness to date lots of women; to broadcast his polyamorous exploits in the public domain; to do and say anything that ABC wants him to do/say about said exploits; and so forth. Read More...



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