Jersey Shore Recap: Hurricane I-Ron

Spoiler alert! You know how in Rise of the Planet of the Apes, you're not quite sure whom to root for in the climactic mutant monkey vs. jerky human battle? This is kind of how we felt during last night's Ron versus Mike screamy, sweaty, futon-throwy psychotic episode. More on that later — there's a Filthy Dozen to discuss!

The sun rises over Villa Skanka. Mike hustles a still numb and drunk Britney out the door and into a cab, while Brit's "virgin" twin sister Erica, who had spent the evening as a half-conscious, schnapps-drenched kadima sex ball batted around between Vin and Deena, decides to stay a while. Mike tries to get her to leave, too, saying her sister's already gone home. "I'm an individual!" Erica protests, and one gets the sense that this is what she used to say as a 5-year-old to anybody who dared give her and Britney the same flavor of juice box. Only this time, Erica's asserting her individuality by stating that unlike her sister, she banged TWO strangers whilst in the same room as a union camera crew. Britney only banged ONE. See? She IS an individual. Anyway, Mike's still upset that his "menagerie" got messed up by Deena's robbery.

Speaking of robberies, Vin's still steamed about how Deena pulled another one by dragging Erica out of his bed and into her own mid-smush. In actuality, the only people who should really be upset about this are Erica's parents and maybe Amnesty International. Anyway, Vinny's account of the evening suggests that poor Erica "polished off" both Deena and Vinny, but that it doesn't count as a true "tag team" since there was a theft involved — it's a "tag rob." Either way, it's "tag prescriptions for Valtrex" for everyone involved. Read More...


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