'Jersey Shore' recap: Ladri di Biciclette

Guys, can you believe that Snooki killed a cop? I mean, yow, our gal has gotten into some bad scrapes before, but a confirmed fatality definitely takes things to the next level! Fortunately for Li'l Shnookums, life is cheap in Italy. A little bit of money in the right set of pockets can make anything disappear. We didn't actually see it happen on last night's episode of Jersey Shore, but I have no doubt that, when it became clear that the Italian police wouldn't release Nicole from prison, Pauly D made a direct-line phone call to Prime Minister Silvio "Bunga Bunga Bang Bang" Berlusconi. I would imagine that Pauly offered Silvio a quid pro quo: Release Shnookums from prison, and DJ Pauly D the DJ would personallyspin records the next time the Prime Minister hosted a diplomatic summit in the Federal Smush Room. You laugh, but this is exactly how politics works in the non-Scandinavian nations of Europe.

So Snooki and Deena were freed from Italian prison. Naturally, Nicole had to pay a steep cop-killing fine, and she was henceforth banned from driving anywhere in mainland Italy. Now, usually, people who have narrowly avoided life imprisonment for vehicular homicide feel a bit chastened. And Snooki did feel a little bit out of sorts when she got back to the villa. "Come along, Shnookums," said her galpals, "Come along with us on a night of adventure!" Nicole politely declined. Perhaps she was pondering the mystery of life and death. Perhaps she wanted to make sure she didn't smell like policeman-corpse when her darling Jionni arrived the next day. Read More...



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