'Jersey Shore' recap: Duck, You Sucker!

Here's the plot outline for every Raymond Carver short story: Drunk people are sad, so they drink more, which makes them sadder. Does that sound like every episode of Jersey Shore? Well, kind of, except that the Jersey Shore cast members have ridiculous expansive vocabularies and caveman hormones, and Raymond Carver characters mostly speak in passive, empty monosyllabic phrases. Basically, if the cast of The Hills drank as much as the cast of Jersey Shore, the result would be a Raymond Carver short story. (Except keep in mind that Carver was writing in the '70s, when people still felt things, and the '80s, when people still tried to feel things Life used to be much less complicated before the world ended.)

Last night's episode, however, pretty much followed the Carver story structure. Snooki woke up in Vinny's bed with a nasty hangover and a vague sense that something terrible just happened. So she took friendly J-Woww out for some mimosas, just to even out her head a little bit. Snooki said, "Wah wah, Jionni, wah wah," and J-Woww tried her best to look understanding. J-Woww: "You've got to move on." Snooki ordered another mimosa and daydreamed about Jionni. Read More...



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