'Jersey Shore' Recap: The Situation is Dire

When we left her, Snooki was in a pickle, and not the kind she likes. After telling her boyfriend that Vinny had merely "bleeped" her the night before (WHAT WORD DID SHE USE? it's an unsolved mystery!), Jionni gave Snooki a second chance ... which she then immediately used up by finding out that Vinny actually F*CKED her (the ULTIMATE bleep!) during those several minutes that she and Jionni were "on a break." Well... duh. When she blacks out, Snooki immediately takes off all her clothes and falls on the closest dick. How come I know that and she doesn't?

To her credit, Snooki immediately calls Jionni back and tells him the truth, and apologizes every which way, until she realizes Jionni might not forgive her, goes mute and starts fanning herself with her hand like an overheated Southern debutante. "Are we together or not together? Am I your girlfriend?" she hyperventilates at him. Jionni doesn't know. He describes his heartbreak symptoms, and I think he might just be coming down with a flu. They decide to stay in international love limbo and "work on things." So this conversation will happen at least eight more times in the future, GREAT.  Read More...



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