The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: The ‘Attack Teresa Show,’ Live Onstage!

Andy Cohen in the middle of another Real Housewives of New Jersey squabble.

I’m going to be recapping these season-ending reunion shows for Andrea while she’s on vacation. Since Andy pointed out the theme of this season is loyalty, I feel it’s only right to try to sway you over to my side by telling you that I went on a frantic binge of watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey over the past two days to catch up in time for tonight’s episode; I’m sure Andrea has never done this for you, which makes me the recap princess. Also, Andrea learned all about recapping from me, along with everything she knows about house flipping.

This season’s reunion is at the Count Basie theater in Red Bank, New Jersey. It’s a grander setting than past reunion shows, one in which it's conceivable that Max Weinberg might just start jamming out in the background. No one’s going to get this reference, but here goes: When I was little, I was obsessed with Family Circus comics, and the only way you could tell the difference between Jeffy and Billy was because Jeffy’s hair had little wavy lines while Billy’s was just smooth. Andy’s hair was pulling a Jeffy tonight, slightly longer in that way that some guys' hair doesn’t actually grow down but out. It still looked good, of course, because he knows what he’s doing, and my very current and perfect Family Circus comparison holds up especially well considering he was sitting next to Teresa, who was wearing her hair as straight as a board. Or straight as a whistle: Thanks to her, we now know we can cram any analogy we like into that instrument. Read More...


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