'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' recap: Trigger Point Massages

Last night's episode opened with three minutes of ridiculous, much-needed levity. No drama, no finger-pointing, no threats of murder or cries of breakdown. Just our dear Vanderplumpkin waddling like a duck in too-high heels into Adrienne's kitchen. Lisa believes that what every rich Beverly Hills woman needs to know to get by in this cruel world is how to properly roast a chicken. Adrienne looked unconvinced. Her chef Bernie, lurking in the shadows with a finger to his peckish lips, his nose twitching like an angry bunny, positively apoplectic. "Stick your hand up his butt," Lisa instructed Adrienne. (The chicken's, not Bernie's, you weirdos.) But first Adrienne wanted to bathe the bird in some Dial hand soap and then give it some color in her spray tanning booth. At the end of their fruitless session, in which Adrienne revealed she didn't even know where her salt and pepper shakers were stored, Lisa suggested she stick to take out meals. Girl, Bernie is going to put so much rat poison in your cucumber water. Read More...



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