'The X Factor' recap: The Fakers' Dozen

BOOM! WHOOSH! I have started associatingThe X Factor with its dramatic sound effects in my mind -- the BOOM! of the red 'X' logo that always manages to seem like it's brutally cutting the segment off, and the WHOOSH! of the spotlights lowering to the floor so that the contestant at hand can face judgment. If those spotlights could talk they'd be saying "Time to face the music, bitches." Even though the music just ended. Well, it's time to face the bitches, in any case.

As a recapper faced with a daunting 2.5-hour roid-raging laser light show, I loved how quickly the episode was paced. There was no time for it to get too sentimental -- despite Paula and Nicole's tears -- because Steve Jones was running out of time and needed a name, damnit! Oh, Steve Jones. His left pointer finger was out of control during that opening bit. I'll need to keep an eye on that. It should probably have its own camera. The man is oh so attractive and oh so stiff, much like my next drink. Read More...



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