The X Factor Recap: Nightmare Situation

Can I tell you something? I’ve been looking forward to this, the first overstuffed results show of The X Factor. How will this show waste my time? What promotional tie-ins and stars-du-jour will they blast down my neck? Why am I this excited?

The show begins, as it always has and always will, with 34 minutes of recap. It’s starting to become like a soap opera, where if they don’t constantly remind you of everyone’s names and motivation, you’ll somehow forget where you are and what you’re watching. And the wonderful thing is: They’re right.

Is there a new voice-over guy? I remember hearing a voice at the top of the show last night that wasn’t Steve Jones's, and now there’s a brand-new one that is very Eddie Murphy doing the "C-I-L-L My Landlord" poem on SNL. Does anyone have a contract with The X Factor?

Paula, in a deft turn of phrase that is unmistakably Abdul, says: "I don’t ... know ... how ... America is going to ... choose ... who ... their favorites." Paula? Paula, are you there? "Are." Read More...


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