'America's Next Top Model: All-Stars' Finale Recap: A No-Win Situation

"It's here! It's FINALLY here! The ANTM All-Star finale!" Did you, too, find yourself saying something similar today, less like a kid on Christmas morning, and more like a prisoner on parole morning?

Seeing that we've reached the end of this, Tyra Banks's grand experiment in building an army of Marketing & Modeling Mini-Mes, it's time to take stock. When the America's Next Top Model: All-Stars cycle was announced, I literally couldn't contain my excitement. (I screamed and spasmed and knocked several objects off my desk when I found out. So yes, literally.) But as the cycle went on, it quickly, painfully became clear that the show had no interest in deciding which all-star was "the best of the best" at anything except promoting herself. Things got gross, then grosser, then intolerable. By no longer pretending to care about fashion, modeling or genuine talent, Tyra finally sucked the last ounce of delusional humor out of her show, and that's really all it had going for it in the first place.



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