The X Factor Recap: The One Without Rachel

And do you know what else, Nicole Scherzinger? One does not "loosen up" one’s buttons. Buttons are either done or undone. Unless you Pussycat Dolls are trying to get your man to cut your buttons off and then sew them back on a half-inch over, that is a bullshit lyric to build a song around. You are the worst. I’ve got more items on my list here, but I’ve been yelling at you for six straight days, and now The X Factor is back on and I have to go.

Tonight’s show opens, as it must, with a recap of the moment I’ve spent the last week trying not to rewatch. You know what it is. People who have never heard of The X Factor know what it is. It is no less brutal for my having seen it already, though it does lend credibility to the theory that Rachel said "You promise?" to her reassuring mother, rather than "You promised," which had been bothering me. So we can feel slightly less bad about an adorable and talented little girl being mugged on live television. Read More...


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