'Jersey Shore' recap - Season 5, episode 1

Everyone’s favorite guilty pleasure is back for its fifth season, so that means every Friday the Post will be your source for all of the tanned and gelled action from the ‘Jersey Shore’Last night’s season premiere began with the gang anxiously awaiting their return to Seaside Heights. The way Snooki and Pauly D make Italy sound, you would think it’s a third-world country. No haircuts, tanning, gyms, guidos or even a boardwalk…I suppose it is a third-world country if you’re a guido/guidette.Back in America, the rooming situation is dissected in the van. Eventually everyone decides on going back to their old rooms because no one wanted to room with The Situation, and because Snooki peed in her bed last summer.Pauly D and Vinny immediately get their well-documented bromance underway by breaking in their old beds with some dry-humping. Maybe they should have taken the "Smush Room" instead.In what is sure to be the most drama-filled room of the house, Situation pledges to put all of his past issues behind him and not to create problems between Ronnie and Sammi. The over/under on the first blow up between the three of them is four episodes…those are the official Vegas odds.After unloading enough clothing to stock the Shore Store for the next five summers, the crew decides to kick off the summer the right way, with pickle shots. Jagerbombs are so last summer.In their third summer in Seaside Heights, Shore Store owner Danny expects the roommates to be the seasoned vets, no more slacking off. It’s time to work hard…after they hit the boardwalk and take care of some important "American errands."As it turns out, the errands are the classic trio of Gym, Tan, Laundry, followed by a haircut. It’s fitting that this season airs in 2012, because Situation must have foreseen what the Mayans allegedly did and declared it to be the end of civilization as the guys have become pale and have lost weight.  Read More...



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