The Bachelor Recap: Prince Pinot and the Charlie Sheen–Quoting Supermodel

Last night's Bachelor, episode two, was the usual cavalcade of humiliations: jealousy, accusations of envy, preening, grand pronouncements of evil plans turned successful, illicit kissing, and, of course, lots and lots of drunken crying. (Do they never have any happy drunks on this show? Are lab tests involved?) But the damned thing, like all of these things, was two hours, so this recap will focus on the most meaningful and important of last night's human encounters. That, and Ben Flajnik's hair, about which it is time to produce some theories.

Meaningful Encounter No. 1: Kacie B. and Ben go to the Emotionally Manipulative Movies

Kacie B., the sweetie from Clarksville, Tennessee, and owner of one of the best examples of good "Southern Face" since Miss Reese Witherspoon herself, won the first one-on-one date, which granted her the privilege of an evening stroll around the eerily empty (or more accurately: cleared-out-by-production-assistants) streets of Ben's hometown of Sonoma. The two conveniently pop in to a local curio shop, where Kacie "secretly" finds a cheerleader's baton, which she somehow purchases with her own money, even though I'm pretty sure the contestants on this show are not allowed to own currency or property. Read More...


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