'Jersey Shore' recap: The Situation is George Lucas: A Theory

There are people who have given up on Jersey Shore, and I can understand why. The show isn't really fun anymore. The cast can barely stand each other. J-Woww -- who once upon a time was the house's wounded heart and bruised moral soul -- has become a non-entity, too mature to be really interesting in the show's drunk-preschool environment. Snooki swans through Seaside Heights acting as if every half-hearted catchphrase she farts out is an instant double-platinum hit. She's like a one-hit wonder stumbling around the Meatpacking District one year after her hit single dropped off the charts, assuring her Twitter followers that she's in serious talks to collaborate with Kanye. Or she's like Norma Desmond at the end of Sunset Boulevard, vamping for the cameras, not realizing that her adoring fans are actually policemen with diamond-studded handcuffs.

Ronnie and Sammi have settled into the sort of wedded bliss that you usually only find in emotionally abusive couples who turn 60 and decide they may as well stick together until the sweet embrace of Death finally provides some warm respite from the bleak, bitter winter of waking life. Deena entered the house as a parody of Snooki and has now become a parody of herself parodying Snooki; if Snooki is The Matrix, then Deena is Underworld: Awakening. And Vinny has staged a full retreat. He was always the smart one, so perhaps he sensed that a vomit-palace filled with vagrant inebriate masochists was not the best place to experience a nervous breakdown. Read More...



Want to comment on this? First, you must log in to your SideReel account!