Jersey Shore Recap: Vinconsolable

With Vinny still gone, this episode begins the way we imagine Paulie feels inside: in deep, deep sepia. But, as he has strong-lotioned the color of an old-timey portrait, it's also the way he feels and smells on the outside. Normally the way MTV music supervisors pump emotion into their reality shows like corn feed into foie gras ducks can be a little grating. But because we've developed a Liberian warlord's ability to not feel human empathy for many members of this particular cast, it's helpful to have that "Peter and the Wolf" kind of thing here, where it's like, "A French horn? Uh-oh, something dangerous is about to happen" or "A folk rock song about death? Time to be sad."

Pauly heads to the club, Vinless and Vinconsolable, and begins to inform the roommates. As much of a bummer as this is, it's like watching that scene from 101 Dalmatians where all the farm animals pass on the fact that the puppies have been kidnapped. (Although, from the looks of Snooki's impotent blackout eyelids, you may as well have told her that Vinny is running for president.) Deena, the house stoic, clearly needs a good bathroom cry. "He was like my soul," she weeps. Ha-ha, Deena. If that were true, he would have left two seasons ago. Read More...


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