'American Idol' recap

In this "Very Special Post-Football American Heroes Sea-to-Shining-Sea" episode, the auditions are being held on the USS Midway in San Diego, because nothing says America like Randy Jackson. Start jumping up and down and shrieking, everyone! But keep in mind: auditioning on an aircraft carrier is rough, ok? The judges get all sorts of annoyed by things like planes landing, ship horns blowing, seagulls pulling at Steven's hair shards and using them to make a nest on top of J. Lo's head, etc.Also irritating, per Steven (diva!) is how everyone will be singing "the same Adele song" today. He sort of has a point (see, e.g., "Falling" by Alicia Keys). Get creative, people! Sing something no one's heard of, or no one remembers. Make them remember, so they'll never forget that they will never hear of you again, even if you win. I'm not surprised when our first contestant, Jennifer Diley, poor dear, makes her way up to the stage in a bandeau bikini top and booty shorts. Luckily, she knows exactly what she's doing, because oh my God you guys, she wants to work with kids or animals if she can't be the next Lee DeWyze. Ryan Seacrest, taking the bait first, makes her walk up the stairs twice, which she obliges. She sings "With You" by Jessica Simpson, which is a song that should only be played when your dog is lost and you need something to lure him home.  Read More...



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