The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Finally, the Reunion Dirt

It’s a good thing I don’t have a fantasy football team comprised of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills cast members, because I would’ve lost my shirt last night. Or maybe a horse race is a better metaphor (Sorry — I’m not a sports person, and I couldn’t watch Luck if you paid me). But I will say that I was wrong to back Adrienne all season as breakout mensch cast member, because last night, Brandi ran past all the old nags and became filly of the year. The title winner! The prize Whore Horse. Congratulations, Brandi Glanville — if next week goes as planned, you will have officially won this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And with a late entry to the race and barely a minute on the clock!

Last night’s reunion special, the second of three installments, was worlds juicier than the first one, if only because of the addition of braless, vital, truth-telling Brandi, who instigated drama the moment she sashayed out and took her place on the Couch of Righteousness, next to Dame Vanderfabulous and St. Camille. Brandi’s very presence made Kyle twitch and wince involuntarily, if only because Richards is not used to being around women she realizes are more authentic and appealing than she is, not to mention attractive and limber. Remember: Kyle has the self-awareness of the titular sociopath in We Need to Talk About Kevin and the narcissism of a particularly deplorable Byzantine despot. So every time Kyle becomes aware of a formidable human being and the "competition centers" of her lizard brain fire up to say, "Hey! That woman is more charming than you are and she’s not being appropriately fawning to you or toward the Richards Empire," her overdeveloped ego — something she no doubt fertilizes with the same Biotin supplement she uses to keep her hair at an age-inappropriate length — starts shooting sparks of anger that otherwise interfere with her logic and language. It’s actually really fascinating, and the net result helps make Brandi MVP of the season, if only because Glanville’s personality is the water that makes the Wicked Witch collapse and shrivel, Madonna-like, into the floor. Read More...


Want to comment on this? First, you must log in to your SideReel account!