American Idol Recap: On the Set of Elvis Presley

Tonight! The 70 remaining singers must put in one last group performance! The judges put it like this:

Randy: "You all have won the chance to go to Las Vegas!"
Jennifer: "To sing songs from the ‘50s!"

Now, in real life, their chance of going to Las Vegas is a 100% chance, because they’re all going, and they’ll be singing songs from the ‘50s and ‘60s on the set of Cirque du Soliel’s Viva Elvis. Other than that, right on the money, guys. Here is a giant novelty check for a billion dollars.

The singers take the five-hour drive to Vegas in one giant bus, and I’d like for you to try to imagine something worse than driving that bus. You can’t, right? Richie Law attempts to draw a Sharpie mustache on a sleeping girl, then when the same girl gives him a wet Willie as he dozes, he simply hits her in the face. Richie Law is television’s greatest villain.

They arrive at the Aria hotel, where you will be relieved to know there are all new beds for them to flop into. But the fun won’t last long, promises Ryan: "Even though these songs make you feel good on the inside, there will be cuts, and they will be painful." So ... that’s it? Don’t want to do a second take on that, Ryan? You’re the boss. Read More...


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