American Idol Recap: The Rapture

Next week, we will finally — FINALLY — start being able to vote in this thing, but tonight, a grim Ryan Seacrest informs us, "FINAL JUDGMENT IS HERE." It is the American Idol rapture. 

The 42 remaining auditioners have moved down the Las Vegas Strip to the Wynn, where they will be performing one last time on the stage of Le Reve, which Ryan pronounces "Lay Rev." Do you mean to tell me that not one person in this massive production has taken high school French? Not even Cecile Frot-Coutaz? Appalling.

Ryan (who is not in a full suit and it feels strange, like seeing your homeroom teacher at the grocery store) reminds us that last year’s Final Judgment was too much for Jennifer Lopez to take, by which he means she displayed human emotion, but still managed to keep her make-up game together. This year? I don’t know. Probably fainting. Also, Jennifer is wearing a shiny green dress that reflects up into her face when she puts her head down. It looks like it is blinding. And Steven Tyler is wearing an ensemble from the Doug Henning collection. Read More...


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