Smash Recap: A Republican, a Fight, and One Fancy Fox

Sabotage! Thy name is Rebeck! How else to explain the sudden blackout on the DVRs of Time Warner subscribers attempting to watch the most realistic depiction of the theatrical industry since Sylvester Stallone’s Stayin’ Alive? How else, unless someone at the top, someone powerful enough to clear out an entire Eileen Fisher sample sale with the slightest flare of her majestic nostril, didn’t want us to see it?

After four minutes and 37 seconds of abject panic and a barrage of curses so intense my next-door neighbor, a.k.a. the world’s loudest masturbator, started banging on the wall with his shoe (at least, that’s what I hope it was), I finally figured out how to reboot the fucking cable box. Our episode at last springs to glorious life the same way the world did, with the enormous face of Anjelica Huston looming above our blinkered eyes, her lips stretched in an impassive grimace. She’s staring down Derek, the most flagrantly heterosexual man ever to fill out a dance belt, who is once again (apart from that bizarre plunge into gay panic last week) proving his utter reasonableness as a human being by refusing to blindly offer the part of Marilyn Monroe to a succession of aging movie stars. He’s also refusing to devote any more of his billable hours to the project until a few key elements are in place. Until there’s a script, for example. Or a finished score. Or, in fact, a title, because if you just call it Marilyn, everyone will assume it’s about Marilyn Bergman. You could do a Yentl number! Read More...


Want to comment on this? First, you must log in to your SideReel account!