Smash Recap: Opportunity Is Not a Lengthy Visitor

In life, there are some things any idiot should know: (1) purchases made in a frenzied panic during the last fifteen minutes of the Barneys Warehouse Sale will always turn out to be among the most versatile and wearable in your wardrobe; (2) having a baby is just the thing to fix a troubled marriage; and (3) the most foolproof way to save an inert new musical that lacks an as yet a finished score, a complete book, or any semblance of cohesive narrative structure is to replace its wholly competent star with a rapidly fading and aging imaginary movie actress who has never done professional — or even unprofessional — theater before.

I mean, such a person is obviously going to be easy to work with, right? Unfailingly gracious and reliable and incredibly secure, don’t you agree? Oh excuse me, it isn’t Opposite Day? And instead of "any idiot" I should have written "only idiots?" And I have maybe eaten so many Peeps in the Sisyphean struggle to stay awake long enough to get this in on time that I have actually turned into a Peep, just as my mother warned so many moons ago? And if I am, in fact, a Peep, how am I typing right now? And what in the unpronounceable name of the God of Israel is Debra Messing dressed up as this time? Read More...


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