American Idol Recap: Colton Apologizes to Us All

So here we go! It is time to really seriously say good-bye to someone tonight, as the judges have used their save and we have to get this thing finished by August. Back in the old days, the post-save week meant two eliminations, but I guess the public shaming of Jermaine Jones bought us an extra week.

Taylor Hicks is in the audience! My first thought is: How did that dude get a ticket? Also in the house, the only Idol alumnus whose album I own: Elliott Yamin. (True story! It’s pretty good!)

I am delighted to tell you that the group number is not awful; the kids do Martha & the Vandellas’ "Dancing in the Street," and it is a billion times more dignified than the Mick Jagger–David Bowie version from 1985. You know what else is more dignified than the Mick Jagger–David Bowie version of "Dancing in the Street"? "Super Sloppy Double Dare" and pornography. In a porkpie hat pushed way back on his head, Joshua Ledet looks like Mikey Craig, the bassist from Culture Club, which makes me think about how much Elise Testone could crush the Helen Terry parts in "Church of the Poison Mind." How many My Coke Rewards points do I need to commandeer my own Idol theme week? Anyway: There are balloons! There are bucket drummers! Phillip is goofing on it so hard it is indistinguishable from actual fun! The group number is not making me sad! Read More...


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