American Idol Recap: Lisa Marie and Lambert, Too

It’s the last results night before the finale! And the only questions left in American Idol are who will lose to Phillip next week, and exactly how will the producers waste your time. Generally they pad this hour out with the homecoming footage, but since they exhausted most of that last night, I must admit I’m genuinely curious as to what will be making me restless and peevish for the next hour. I do know it will all be branded, and none of us will get the cut that we deserve for watching.

For the third-to-last time, let’s meet our judges. Jennifer looks lovely, because she is incapable of anything else. Steven resembles a real-estate agent whose photo you’d see on a bench ad in Topanga Canyon, somebody named Nita or Patti or Thekla. Randy looks like he ate the Cars. Read More...


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