'RHONJ' Recap: Public Displays of Humiliation

Tonight's "Real Housewives of New Jersey" begins with a lovely reminder as to why Melissa Gorga is a reality star (Read: Someone who is famous for not actually being able to do anything) instead of a dancer. She's rehearsing with her "backup dancers" at Fred Astaire Studio and it's not going well. "Ohh, THAT'S why it wasn't working," she exclaims. "I wasn't walking!" This routine is off to a very positive start. Luckily, choreographer Chris Judd is Jennifer Lopez's second husband -- and as such, he has the patience of a saint. (I'll refrain from saying anything snarky about how his life has obviously taken a turn for the mega-lame since the dissolution of that marriage. I'm not a monster, you know.)

Meanwhile Gia, 11, is reminding us that some children of the corn have pretty decent rhythm. She's also rehearsing for Beatstock, but she's actually pretty good. Her hip hop moves do border on "having a seizure," but it works for her. Plus, girlfriend is awesome at working the fake-smile-game-face. Meanwhile, stage mom Teresa watches from about a foot away, and her satanic glare is enough to light a fire under anyone's heels. Read More...


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