The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap: Love Doesn’t Live There

The one inalienable fact we are left with today is that Lauren Manzo could probably write (or ghostwrite, at least) an absolutely gangbusters YA novel about the travails of not fitting in with her family, like a guido version of Matilda. But let's start at the very beginning, because sources say that's a very good place to start.

The team is getting fucked up on wine and plans to go surfing drunk, which is, naturally, a fantastic idea. Albie asks the surf shop guy about shark attacks, and he says not to sweat it because "it's like this mutual respect we [meaning he and the sharks] have." Which is insane, but whatever. As everyone proceeds to Get All Up on their Hawaii Eleventeen-0 episode, Jacqueline isn't into it: We learn, for the first-time-ish, that she has body image issues. She feels fat and awkward in a wetsuit. Meanwhile, Teresa and Juicy Joe surf in full wetsuits on the concrete because YOLO. Read More...


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