Sydney Levin: 'RHONJ' Recap: Look Who's Back!

Did you hear that? It was California sighing with relief as it purged itself of "Housewife" toxins. The gals are back in town, summer's over and school's back in session, which means Melissa Gorga must send little Antonia to first grade. Self-proclaimed "super dad" Joe helps by making approximately two pancakes and warning his daughter that she can "only play with girls." It's odd advice from someone who seems to only want to play with men, but I'm sure it comes from a good place.

Over at the Giudices' mansion of horrors, Teresa pops in to wake up her brood. The three eldest are all sleeping in a tangle of limbs and fuzzy jammies. Aren't children so darling when their eyes are closed and they aren't encouraged to talk? It's a day of firsts for them, too: Milania's going to kindergarten, Gabriella's going to first grade and Gia, who I always thought was like, 25, is only going into 5th grade. Milania nervously asks Gabriella if she'll see her at school, and Gabriella quickly shatters her tiny dreams: "I cannot play with you, but I can see you." Establishing a caste system in elementary school? Loves it! Juicy Joe is in charge of lunches, and he commits a mortal sin -- noooo, silly reader, not cheating on his wife! (That was last week.) This time, he put Milania's name tag inside her lunch box instead of on her shirt. Now nobody will know who she is, so they'll have to measure her hairline. Eating her face? Must be a Giudice! Read More...


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