The X Factor Recap: Decision 2012

Here’s how much of a mess this season of The X Factor is: The Time Warner Cable program guide synopsis of tonight’s episode reads, "A number of contestants are sent home." Not one contestant, not two, a number of contestants. Maybe it’s all the contestants. Maybe the season ends tonight. The program guide, generally accepted as a sage, impartial counselor, knows not, nor does it care. Even the robots are giving up on this show.

And they’ve either hired the weirdest voice-over guy in town or they’re doing a thing where every audience member gets a chance at yelling into the microphone about what’s coming up, like they do on The View. Either way, someone opens the show — it’s like an open-mic comic doing a bit about Don Pardo trying MDMA — by introducing One Direction, here to sing their hit single "Live While We’re Young." Have you read the iTunes blurb about their upcoming album? It describes "Live While We’re Young" as "a call for hedonistic abandonment." I’m fairly sure they meant to say "hedonistic abandon," but I guess there’s a chance this song is about taking a girl to a beach rave in Thailand and then leaving her there. I know I’ll never hear it the same way again. They are their usual, charming, non-dancing selves, and their hair volume starts at a level well above "Billy Bush" and goes skyward from there. Read More...


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