This week on Gossip Girl, all's fair in love, war and fashion shows. Serena and Dan are obsessed with making amends like they are going through a jerk 12-step process. The first step is admitting that you are a jerk and I'm hoping step 12 involves a haircut.
While Serena and Dan are busy making amends, everyone else is busy scheming and double-crossing at an almost amazing speed.
Chuck is still trying to take down Bart, with minimal luck. Ivy manages to hit an old guy trifecta by officially showing her boobs to every gentleman over 40 on this show.
Blair and Serena combine their scheming abilities to hack the perfect plan to make Blair's fashion line a success. As you would imagine with any Serena plan, it backfires immediately but does so in a way that actually ends up as a win for everyone. I wish Serena would plan everything in the universe; I think we'd all be riding unicorns to work by now.
The thing we always thought we wanted, however, isn't always the magic bullet that will solve all our problems. Blair thinks becoming a powerful "Designing Teenagers" woman will make her life better, but she just realizes it's bittersweet without Chuck's sulky, Batman growl at her side. Chuck thinks taking down his father will make his life magically better but doesn't count on losing his only real mother in the process. (Seriously, though, who is his actual mother? Evelyn? Elizabeth Hurley? Lady Alexander the horse? Can someone just ask Bart already?)
And poor, sweet Serena thinks she can finally be happy with her first love Dan. But it turns out Dan might have an ulterior motive up his sleeve, as he tells Georgina on the phone that he's planning a Serena chapter. Unless it's about how well she organizes berries or how she is the only person on earth who can rock a cleavage rhombus without looking like a porn space alien, I doubt it's going to be good.
Does Dan really turn over a new leaf or is his leaf still on the rotten side we've been watching all season? I guess we'll have to wait until next week to find out.