Two hours. Simon Cowell, you stole two hours of my life with the X Factor season two finale, and though I’m hazy on exactly how this is going to work, I am going to find you and I am going to get them back.
“Okay, sure,” you’re thinking, “these big singing-competition finales are always a little padded. How bad could it have been?”
I will tell you.
The show begins with close to ten minutes of red carpet arrivals and interviews. Of the judges. You know when live red carpet arrivals are useful? When the people who are arriving are going into an awards ceremony, or a movie premiere, or really any other event where they will not be sitting at a table with nothing to do but answer your questions for two more hours. We could lose this chunk. Sure, we’d miss Khloe Kardashian telling Simon Cowell “I love your chest hair” in a strangely somber way, and Britney Spears saying of Carly Rose Sonenclar “I am so nervous for her but also I’m exciting.” But we’ve got a whole show ahead of us to coax awkward moments out of these monsters, so going forward, let’s skip the part where the judges get out of Escalades that have brought them to the soundstage from their trailers ten yards away. Read More...