THEN: Lucifer rose, the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse rode into town, the Winchesters split up and Cas left to find God.
NOW: Supernatural gets a little weird, with Dean and Cas teaming up on a wild and crazy adventure (including a trip to a whore house) while Sam spends some time in bed with his dead girlfriend (and another man).
This episode of Supernatural starts off in the best way imaginable, with Sam in bed, shirtless. On behalf of women and gay men everywhere, thank you Supernatural. In his sleep, he's visited by Jessica, who is very coy about whether she's a dream or not. She tries to explain to Sam that he's not normal, that he's always had darkness inside of him, and that from the moment they met, she was fated to die. Wow, Jessica is a real bummer.
Equally disappointing are Sam's sideburns. I asked our Supernatural Twitter fans if they were grossed out by his rather disturbing sideburns, and the consensus is that they are not a good look on him. This is strange because I would assume everything would be a good look on Jared Padalecki. But those sideburns need to go.
After the bedtime conversation, we flash back to one week earlier, just after the Winchester brothers separated. We get a pretty great montage contrasting their lives. Sam washes tables in his new job as a bartender, Dean washes the Impala. Sam cuts lemons, Dean uses a knife of his own to kill a vampire after telling him to "Eat it, Twilight." That is the fourth best quote of the episode. We'll get to the other three.
To simplify matters, I'll start with Dean's story. He gets visited by Cas, who needs some help. It turns out Cas' best bet for finding God is to trap and interrogate the archangel who killed him, Raphael. This revelation prompts the third best quote of the episode when Dean responds, "You were wasted by a Teenage Mutant Ninja Angel?"
Dean agrees to help, but only if they can drive, because the last time Cas teleported him somewhere, he couldn't poop for a week. TMI, Deano. They drive up to Maine where Cas has a report that a local deputy saw Raphael's human vessel.
Cas has a simple plan of attack: explain to the deputy that he saw an archangel and they would like to know where he is. Dean is smart enough to know that won't fly, so he gets Cas to use the best method humans have for getting information: lying. Posing as FBI agents, they learn that Raphael's meatsuit is now in a comatose state at the local hospital.
After visiting the body, they realize Raphael doesn't live there anymore, so Cas runs off for supplies to put a plan into effect. The two get some down time, and after hearing Cas probably won't survive another encounter with Raphael, Dean wants to know what Cas would do with his last day on Earth. The sad truth he finds out is that Cas is an angel virgin, which sends Dean's motor into overdrive and elicits the second best quote of the episode, also from Dean. "There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. Two, you are not gonna die a virgin."
Miraculously, Dean manages to find what has to be the only whore house in Maine, and I shouldn't even need to explain how the rest of this plays out, because it's as funny as you can imagine. Cas has no idea how to talk to girls, and once Dean buys him a prostitute, Cas ruins the moment by talking about her daddy issues, forcing the two to make a quick exit.
It's time for the magic spell to bring Raphael back to his vessel and trap him in a ring of holy Jerusalem oil. Finally, this explains that preview we saw where Cas and Dean light a match and throw it on a dude in a wheelchair. Nothing happens, so they go back to the house they're squatting in, and that's where they find Raphael, who isn't too happy to see them.
But, of course, Cas and Dean knew this would happen, so they have another ring of Jerusalem oil and trap Raphael anyway. They want to know where God is, but the only response they get is that God is dead. That's disappointing. But if God's dead, who brought Cas back to life? Raphael suggests it was Lucifer, trying to get as many rebellious angels as possible in this fight. The scariest thing is that it makes sense.
Raphael causes a huge storm and tries his hardest to scare Cass and Dean, but realizing they won't get any more out of him, they leave, but not before Cas delivers what is truly the best line of the night to the archangel who killed him. "Today, you're my bitch."
I'm not afraid to say that in that moment, I realized that adding Misha Collins as Castiel is probably the best decision Eric Kripke has made for Supernatural. He adds such a strong and unique presence to the show, and I love every minute of it.
On the car ride after their harrowing night, things get sentimental as Dean admits he's actually happy Sam is gone, because he doesn't need to worry about things anymore. When he says things like that, I get kind of mad at Dean. Of course life is easier without Sam, but do you know what's not easier? Stopping Lucifer. Family doesn't always make you happy, but you have to love them anyway.
Speaking of Sam, this brings us to the second part of tonight's double feature. Sam, or Keith as he's now calling himself, is a bartender in Oklahoma, but a waitress named Lindsey is drawn to him and wants to know his life story.
Now let's hold on for a moment. Jared Padalecki is dealing with characters named Dean, Jess and Lindsey? As in Dean and Jess, the two boys Rory had to choose from on Gilmore Girls, and Lindsey, the woman Jared's Dean married? Is this a huge Gilmore Girls shout-out, or am I reading too much into it?
Anyway, Sam hears about some apocalyptic storms nearby and calls Bobby to send some Hunters to fix it. Clearly Bobby hates being in the middle of these two idjit brothers fighting, but he goes along with it and sends three random Hunters to help.
They're curious why Sam isn't doing this himself, but they go and come back later, only one of them was killed by the demons. They also heard some crazy stories about Sam, all of which are true, so they want him to admit it and threaten to kill Lindsey if he doesn't. Wow, even the Hunters have gone wild.
Sam admits that he started the apocalypse, so knowing the truth, the two remaining Hunters want Sam to drink some demon blood, hulk out and avenge their fellow Hunter's death. Sam is trying to quit, so he fights back and eventually beats the crap out of these two pathetic Hunters.
That leaves him no choice but to leave, which brings us back to Sam in bed with Jessica, only this time he's wearing a shirt. Damn you, shirt!
Sam is worried, and that isn't helped when Jessica morphs into... Lucifer! Yes, Sam and Lucifer get a face-to-face meeting in Sam's mind, and it turns out Lucifer has one more surprise for Sam. It turns out Nick, his current body, isn't the perfect human vessel for Lucifer. No, that honor belongs to Sam.
Yes, Sam is Lucifer's meatsuit! Of course Sam says "Hell no" to that, vowing to kill himself before he consented. Lucifer promises to bring him back to life every time. He also says that he won't use trickery or deception, he'll be 100 percent honest, and that in the end, Sam will consent.
I learned in The Usual Suspects that the Devil's greatest trick was making the world think he didn't exist. Actually, I think Lucifer's greatest trick is using calm, rational thought to convince people to do things. The scarier part is that I really think Lucifer can do it.
Next week on Supernatural, it's the end of the world as Dean knows it when he witnesses a dystopian, post-apocalyptic future where Cas is a stoner and, I'm just guessing, Sam is Lucifer.
Source: Bubby tv