Amateurish drek

I like horror films, I like comedies, I like horror/comedies, I like low budget films. I kind of thought I'd see at least one of the above when my girlfriend brought home a DVD of this movie. After watching the first half hour of this train wreck, I knew there were only two options: either turn this off and admit that we wasted $4.00 on the rental, or watch the rest of it and admit that we wasted $4.00 on the rental and 90 minutes of our lives. The first 10 minutes go by like a bad trailer, with disjointed moments and roughly edited clips (it looks like the filmmakers probably shot this part of it to raise money to finish the film - which couldn't have cost more that $200). After the endless pre-title sequence, and an equally endless title sequence, the film that follows looks nothing like what precedes it. Everything before the titles cuts like it was edited with a chainsaw, everything after the titles seems like it's not cut enough - and drags...and drags...and drags. The only laughs we got out of this was from the casting. The movie is riddled with a who's who of has beens, led by an unknown (how's that for irony?). From one of the stars of The Karate Kid, to 70's hero Fred Williamson, to the guy who played Lurch on the Addams Family movies, to the guy who killed Sean Connery in the Untouchables, to KATO KAETLIN for Christ's sake! Looks like everyone in this film came straight from an autograph convention.


This movie really REALLY wants to be funny, and at time it wants to be poignant. But hey, I want to be six foot two and look like George Clooney. Unfortunately, there's a reality factor that exists. I am bald, slightly overweight and wear glasses. So I don't pretend I'm George Clooney and whoever made this film shouldn't pretend they are filmmakers.


Avoid this amateur film at all costs. There are plenty of vampire comedies out there that are funnier, better executed and more deserving of your time (like Beverly Hills Vamp, Vampire in Brooklyn, Once Bitten, Polish Vampires of Burbank, Fearless Vampire Killers, Love at First Bite, etc.).


The end of this film leaves it open for an obvious sequel. If that happens, I can only quote the most memorable line from this film, uttered by the star in a moment of pain and suffering..."NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Comments

Want to comment on this? First, you must log in to your SideReel account!