American Idol Recap: Hollywhatever Week on Something-Something Idol

At this time every year, American Idol stops meandering and, like the superhero-themed linear-induction roller coaster at your local theme park, just fucking takes off. It’s Hollywood Week! The most intense week of these young singers’ lives! Which is kind of impressive, considering the show has spent the last three weeks telling us how intense the lives of these young single parents, cancer husbands, and amputees are. But even if this week doesn’t scar them for life the way, say, permanent oral nerve damage would, it’s going to mess you up but good: Ryan promises that some "shocking eliminations will shake you to the core." I seriously hope that at least one viewer is honestly shaken to the core. I want someone to wake up this morning and say, "Some stranger I saw on TV for twelve seconds got eliminated. This is my new normal." Read More...


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