American Idol Recap: Help

Oh my God, you guys. Tonight’s American Idol was a significant two hours of television. Like the best art, it tore me apart cell by cell and reassembled me. I am a fundamentally different person than I was before Ryan Seacrest descended the disco stairs.

I actively dislike the Beatles now. This is my new normal.

It isn’t the top nine’s fault that they’re unfamiliar with the Beatles. Sure, all nine of them do seem to want to be singers, and singers typically work within the context of music, and the Beatles created pretty much everything that we currently take for granted in that particular area, but you can’t force appreciation. Consider this: Several of our finalists were born after “Free As a Bird.” Read More...


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