'American Idol' Results: Suffrage Begins (and Ends) with Lazaro

This results recap is dedicated to the women's rights movement, because while it seems under fire from roughly half of political America, the exact opposite is true on American Idol (And also I got tired of titling it "A Guy Goes Home -- Part V). Haven't had a girl win the thing in nearly half a decade? Eureka! Just stack the deck so ONLY a female can win. Problem solved!

Or is it? Much like the systemic anomaly that is Neo in The Matrix, season 12 of Idol brought us Lazaro Arbos -- he of horrible fashion sense, lovable stuttering backstory and ever-depleting voice. Mr. Ricki Ricardo, as Nicki Minaj so annoying dubbed him, is the one thing preventing the elusive glass-ceiling-shattered all-chick top 5, after all the other guys were methodically picked off, one by one. 



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