The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season Four Premiere Recap: Beverly Hills Birthday


Welcome back, friends! Long time no etcetera. It is I, D.J. Soft Batch, at your service, back to recap season four of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills — now with more brunettes and at least one actual witch!


A lot has happened since we last left these demure swans. Brandi got a Realtor boyfriend, Yolanda got Lyme Disease, and Kyle somehow became less likable. Now, for those of you who are new to my RHOBH recaps, I want to tip you off to a couple of things. First of all, I am very thin. Much, much thinner than Taylor Armstrong, who has dieted down to a size “Disappeared on This Show Completely, and With Zero Fanfare.” Secondly, I basically am tasked each week to write over and over again the sentence “Kyle Richards is the worst human in the universe,” because it is something I believe in my heart with more confidence than I’ve ever attributed to the notion that there is indeed a God. So to say that Kyle has worsened between seasons — that she had somehow exacerbated her descent into utter, narcissism-fueled moral decay, could only mean that events transpired this week that involve a pink moto jacket, some hair envy, and a half-assed British accent. But I’m getting ahead of myself.  Read More...


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