The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Fool Me Three Times


Hello again, beauties! It’s Danielle, happy to fill in for our beloved Julie while she prepares for total world domination. I know — I miss her, too! And together we will get through this episode and soon our queen will return to us, shining like the giant jewel necklace Kyle, like so many Gretchen Weiners before her, keeps trying to make happen.


The laws of Housewifery dictate that one must finish the fight one started in the previous episode, so we start out with a bang at SURRRRrrrrrrr, where Joyce and Jowls have teamed up to take down the Wicked Witch of the Whiskey, Brandi. Joyce thinks Brandi is tacky, Brandi thinks Joyce is unfairly using her husband to help defend her, and I think Beverly Hills should start slipping sedatives into the water supply. Supposed buffers Martin and Mohamed did fuck-all as Lisa tried to keep the peace by reaching her hand across the tablewithout actually touching anyone. The ghouls from SURRRRrrrrrrr looked on as Brandi reminded everyone that she is acting like a maniac because she misses her puppy, you guys! Yolanda, who has had her fair share of emotional shitholes, whisked Brandi away from the table with the skill of a well-trained dancer, put her in a car, and sent her home. It was the first act of true friendship ever displayed with this franchise! Real friends will look you dead in the eye and say, “Girl, you are fucked the fuck up.” Read More...


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