The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Recap: Turn That Crown Upside Down

Is everyone okay? No one was hit with hate-rays from Carlton’s crystal tits? Lisa could certainly use some healing light, because this week, everyone turns on her.

Carlton took Yolo to her favorite spirit shop, Objets d’Art & Spirits, which is either a chakra-recharging station or a package store. She needed to bring in her burnt-up candles to see if she was fully cleansed or to find out if Khaleesi was going to give her a dragon or something. I’m not saying Wicca isn’t real — we all stole Drawing Down the Moon from the public library in eighth grade and read it while listening to Peter Murphy — I’m just saying I take it a little less seriously from a millionaire Real Doll come to life. I love Carlton, but she’s full of shit, which was evident when her eyes darted around the store while she was telling Yolo the foundation of her belief system, which amounted to a string of words (crystals, empowerment, women, candles) that didn’t mean anything.  Read More...


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