American Idol: Everything is Bigger (and Scarier) in Texas!

"I am your brother... your best friend for-e-e-ver..." Has anyone gotten that out of their head yet??

American Idol went to Dallas and well, congrats to Dallas for bringing Idol auditions to an all new level of ridiculousness!

There's really no way to describe this song and man who will bring the next William Hung-style hit record.

All we can say after watching the madness is... silver cape... too... much yelling... I am your brother... I love Simon... I love Simon...

Wait, was Cape Man Simon's secret weapon to hypnotize all of America into electing him our leader? All I can remember is brotherhood and a shining light behind Simon... I'm scared.

But, for those of you who missed this... phenomenon, the only way to truly understand the absurdity is of course to see for your (very, very lucky) self. You can't miss him - he's the one in the cape and featured hat adorned with Simon's name.

And then as those now in love with brotherhood and Simon will recall, Paula danced madly in front of the guy, Randy danced with him and dragged Ryan into the swaying brotherhood and Simon actually gave the guy a hug for his impressive display of Simon-love.

And other people auditioned too. There were all the Kelly Clarkson wanna-be's leading to the butchering of a few of her songs, and shockingly, none of these people made it to Hollywood.

Then there was the adorable newlywed who's male model husband came into the room to help pick her songs. Which she then proceeded to trample with her show choir moves. But what a darn pretty couple!

And others of note? Well, a couple of cowboys, a hopeful future governor of Oklahoma, a guy who peels and saves his fingernails, a guy who insisted on continuing to sing terribly so long he was escorted out, and a sweet and super enthusiastic gravely car accident victim. Some made it out of a bit of pity, shockingly with these judges, and some made it in on some awesome talent.

So onward we go from the city of the first American Idol... another star is born... well, maybe.

Full review on Get Reel:


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