American Idol: Everything is Bigger (and Scarier) in Texas!

"I am your brother... your best friend for-e-e-ver..." Has anyone gotten that out of their head yet??

American Idol went to Dallas and well, congrats to Dallas for bringing Idol auditions to an all new level of ridiculousness!

There's really no way to describe this song and man who will bring the next William Hung-style hit record.

All we can say after watching the madness is... silver cape... too... much yelling... I am your brother... I love Simon... I love Simon...

Wait, was Cape Man Simon's secret weapon to hypnotize all of America into electing him our leader? All I can remember is brotherhood and a shining light behind Simon... I'm scared.

But, for those of you who missed this... phenomenon, the only way to truly understand the absurdity is of course to see for your (very, very lucky) self. You can't miss him - he's the one in the cape and featured hat adorned with Simon's name.


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