Comedy of the Week: Best Tracy Jordan Quotes

30 Rock's Comedy of the Week feature is in full swing and it's time to take this seriously.

Can we do it? Can we consolidate all the amazingness that comes out of Tracy Jordan's mouth into his best quotes ever? This is probably not possible, so here's our best shot and comment away with your own favorite Tracy quotes!

Season 1:

Tracy: Affirmative action was designed to keep women and minorities in competition with each other to distract us while white dudes inject AIDS into our chicken nuggets.

Tracy [angry at being called "Normal" in a magazine]: That's character assassination! That's not normal! It only looks like I'm walking out of a Starbucks when actually I'm doing the robot going backwards into a Starbucks! And I don't even know who dog that is. Yes, I steal dogs!


Tracy: [to Jack about his champagne] If you get rich off of this stuff, take care of my family. I don't want my kids to have to go to college.

Season 2:

Tracy: I'm whipped! Angie got me up at 7:30 today. Did you know that in the morning, they have food, TV, almost everything. It's pretty good.


Frank: Hey, did you hear about Kenneth's insane party? T.I.'s gonna be there!

Tracy: I am surprised to hear that, because that is new information. [winks at Liz]

Frank: Yeah, and he's gonna perform.

Tracy: He is?

Frank: Yeah, and Fall Out Boy will be there too!

Tracy: Huh?

Frank: And there's gonna be foxy boxing.

Tracy: Foxy boxing! I love foxy boxing! It combines my two favorite things; boxing... and referees. I got to get into that party, man! [picks up cell phone] Get me Harvey Lemmings!

Liz: Dummy! First of all, you didn't dial that cell phone. Second of all, that is your own rumor! People are gonna show up expecting all this great stuff and they're gonna be disappointed and angry.

Tracy: Just like Colonial Williamsburg.


Tracy: You put me in a quandary, Jack Donaghy. A quandary.


Tracy: I can't talk now, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster.


Tracy: Black people, don't vote! Just don't do it! And in the time that it takes you to vote, you play three games of pool. Three! Now that's fresh!

And let's not forget: Tracy Jordan - "Get it Pregnant"

Source: 30 Rock Wikiquote

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Jul 16, 2008 5:24PM EDT

-Kenneth: This is all my fault Ms Lemon, because I let it happen. And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for a good man to do nothing.Tracy: Please ask me my permission before you quote me, Kenneth.(his delivery is absolutely priceless!)

-Tracy: Tell her that you want your privates and her privates to do a high five...Tell her her butt look like an apple and you want to take a bite....Tell her shes got some Tig old Bitties like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Tell her you want her to donate her body to science and you science. Tell her Jack!

-Pete: Maybe something about you and your wife.Tracy: Me and my wife like to play rape. She go in the bathroom and do her hair. Then, Ill put on a ski maskFrank: Hey, uh, you got anything about being a dad? People eat that garbage up.Tracy: I like to walk around my house naked, to remind my oldest son whose still got the biggest ding-dong.

-Tracy: Oh I get it. Romeo and Juliet. Capulets and Romulens. Ive been there. Im black, shes white. Im black, shes light skinned black. Im black, shes 17

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