The Real Housewives of New Jersey' Recap: The best mom in the world

Last night was a celebration of milestones, achievements, good parenting (or just genetic luck), and the American legal system. Teresa and Joe were approaching 10 years of marriage (though to Teresa it only feels like 5), Albie enrolled in the police academy, and Danielle’s daughter turned 16. Of course, her daughter’s birthday wasn’t enough of an occasion for Danielle, so she had to turn what was supposed to be a relatively low-key party into one big tear-inducing, pressure-filled audition for her youngest daughter.

Her eldest, the aspiring model and perpetual deer in headlights Christine, chose to celebrate her 16th birthday with a party where all the money she received as gifts would be donated to charity. “Rather than just celebrate just you?” Danielle asked, looking confused and mentally reviewing her own account balance and next hair extension bill in her head. Christine insisted that she didn’t need the money (don’t be so sure of that), and Danielle applauded her (and herself) for her selfless ways: ”I must being doing something right,” she said, giving herself a pat on the back . “My daughter…I gave birth to her…I couldn’t be prouder.”

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